Nothing Can Stop Me
Hi all!
Greetings again from San Francisco! Since I’ve been settled here for a few weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to have a few in-person meetings (some more formal meetings and some networking coffees/lunches), and there’s definitely a different vibe from meeting with people in person that Zoom can’t quite replicate. Zoom is great for productivity, and for check-ins, but some of the softer parts of meetings - relationship building or idea generation, for example - are really awkward to generate on a Zoom. Body language, random tangents that lead to new ideas, or learning something new about someone… are next to impossible to glean from a Zoom.
It was also equal parts fun and bewildering to wear “business attire”. (Picture the loosest of air quotes around that term, please. I basically mean, non-athleisure, but dress pants that still have an elastic waistband. My go-to are these dress pants from Aritzia, in case you are in the market for a nice couch-to-office transition staple)
In this week’s newsletter, I’m covering the concept of “Managing Up”. I think most people think of managing as a concept reserved for those junior to you (see my posts on managing, and tips for first time managers here and here), or managing downward, but managing upward (or, more officially, learning and utilizing the traits of your manager to best enable your performance and the team’s performance as a whole), is equally as important to your success and happiness at work.
I think there’s a misconception that you only need to '“manage up”, when you have a terrible boss, or something needs fixing with your manager, but I think being proactively thoughtful about your work relationships in all directions is really valuable, even if your manager or boss is perfectly great. Maybe we’ll deep dive on managing “bad” bosses in a future post, but with this post, I want to explore some positive traits of managing up, why its important, and a recent conversation I had with someone who has a brand new manager in a new job, and setting the expectation early on is important to her success at the role.
At its core (in any direction) managing requires a level of empathy - understanding what your colleagues’ goals, motivations and fears are, and how you fit into the puzzle to enable or protect against them. Also, I’ve considered that the concept of a “bad” boss, is a matter of misperception or misconception sometimes. Often we write off people as being ‘bad’ if their style or perspectives are very different to ours.
In a myriad of other cases, you need to manage up. For example:
You have a new boss
You have a new job and a new boss
You are are resetting expectations with a boss, (boss is the same, but the stakes or the scope of your role has changed)
Your boss’s situation has changed (they have gotten more responsibility, or something has changed with the company that impacts thems.
Even at the highest level of one’s career (i.e. you are a founder or CEO), there’s still some amount of responsibility to “manage up”. In the case of a CEO or founder, you often need to manage up to your Board of Directors, or investors.
We all have to answer to someone :)
Musings
I’ve been fortunate in my career to have some great bosses. In some cases, I’ve worked for people I’ve had a lot in common with, and some that I’ve had absolutely nothing in common with. Some managers have operated in very similar styles, and some have found me baffling to manage ((“I’m too feely, too
Some of my learnings:
Err on overcommunicating, until told otherwise
As an investment banking analyst, I was told by my associate, “In your first 3-6 months, there are no dumb questions. Ask everything you want to ask, judgement-free. But after those first 6 months, you will expected to know a lot more, and if you don’t, it’s on you for not asking in the first place.”
Communicate a lot with your manager- ask questions, post them intermittently, provide updates to make sure you’re aligned. *Maybe* this will come off as annoying, but I think in the majority of cases, checking in more frequently to make sure you’re on the same page and the right track is the right call. Managers do not want to be surprised, or lose a lot of time on a project when you realize halfway through that your expectations are misaligned.
Be a forcing function
I worked as a Chief of Staff, which is almost 100% comprised of managing up. My boss’ agenda some days would only have one item “Check in with Janice”, and I would be responsible for mapping out the team’s objectives and priorities.
Additionally, when managers delegate something to their reports, they don’t want to feel like they need to check in on it all the time. As my current boss says, “When I send you (or anyone in the org) something, it is off my plate until you tell me otherwise.” Which is ultimate in trust/empowerment, and the opposite of micromanaging, which I feel a lot of people want and thrive with. If I need clarification or help to move something forward, the onus is on me to bring it back to him, not on him to check in with me to see where it’s at.
Understand why your boss is the way they are (see empathy point above)
What are they motivated by? What are they measured on? What makes them look good? What do they not like to do, that you can help with?
This is a unique combination of traits for every different manager, and more nuanced than you’d think.
Obviously everyone wants to be tied to positive results, but it can be very different for different managers. Some managers want to be viewed as good managers of their people, while some do not value this perception at all. Some managers want public recognition for one reason or another (e.g., there are many people at their level, and they are all up for promotion). Some managers are fine being behind the scenes, but want to exceed their performance targets no matter what.
Taking the inventory of what this looks like for your manager, and then assessing if you are comfortable delivering in ways that support this is a pretty crucial first step in figuring out if you’ll work well for this manager.
Strike the right balance
Unless you are in a role that is mainly managing up, if you overindex on managing up, you risk being seen by those junior to you as too political, or focused on posturing with senior stakeholders, but never ‘doing’ or in the weeds with your team. Even worse, focusing only on managing up leaves those that report to you feeling neglected or underdeveloped.
Conversations
This week’s conversation was with a friend who is starting a new job. The role she’s entering is similar to her prior role, in a similar company and identical industry. However, in the new company’s structure, and the gap between her and her new boss is narrower than it was in her prior role, and she’s feeling frustrated in navigating the dynamic in her first 100 days.
She felt like her new manager often cuts her out of strategic conversations, and doesn’t actively loop her in. We discussed her assumption that perhaps her new boss feels a bit threatened about hiring someone at almost the same level. This made her feel like her new boss was territorial and unlikely to give her true responsibility or active opportunities for development.
First, we explored ‘alternate assumptions’ to the one that her boss was cutting her out that were more positive and conducive to setting up a constructive working. If her boss wasn’t cutting her out, what else could be the case?
Her boss values efficiency, and prefers meetings with fewer people
Her boss values having a lone voice in front of senior people
Her boss doesn’t want a new report (my friend), to get distracted or inundated in the first few months on the job, and is protecting her time
(As a side note, this exercise of questioning our own knee-jerk assumptions is sooooo valuable for regulating emotions, and adjusting our mindset, one that I try to do in work and personal situations…… though most of the time I still end up in an initial fiery rage or meltdown 😕, I’m working on it! Byron Katie does a ton of work on this concept of self-inquiry, if you are interested)
Situationally, it’s early on in a new job, aka a great time to explore expectations and create a dynamic which feels constructive for both of them, but it requires some direct feedback upfront.
We discussed a few approaches:
Observe the dynamic in an unemotional way:
“I noticed I wasn’t included in the planning meeting with the executive team regarding our line of business.”
“Request, don’t complain” (I posted this quote on my Instagram, and it’s from a book on managing up, linked below)
“Would it be possible to sit in on these meetings?” Simple, straightforward request, with not complaint or negativity.
Make it a win win for both - and the team at large
“My learning style is such that I learn best by being directly in the conversation (even as an observer for now), and it could save you time from needing to debrief separately with me after.”
In opening up the conversation, it’ll give her more information to her boss’ style and expectations.
Lastly, we discussed that she shouldn’t feel dejected or deflated if the opportunity or change doesn’t come through the first time. It takes time and reps to adjust someone’s management style to a new team member - we default to being set in our ways! (Especially if we’ve been managing for a while.)
Resources/Links
Cool ladies doing cool things: For women workers in India, direct deposit is ‘digital empowerment’ (Yale)
“Managing Up: How to Move up, Win at Work, and Succeed with Any Type of Boss” by Mary Abbajay (Amazon)